amielleon: Gif of a head spinning. (Head: Spinning)
Ammie ([personal profile] amielleon) wrote2012-09-30 10:06 pm

Fire Emblem 10 - Hunger Hurts

Hunger Hurts (Fire Emblem 10)
Genre: Parody
Word Count: 600
R, borderline NC-17, for sex and dirty jokes not quite worthy of Nabokov.
Summary: They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.

Notes: This started from a conversation where various fandom presences such as Mark and Raphi complained about the depth of characters such as Ilyana. Henceforth follows a story addressing such a theme, which not entirely coincidentally clears the entire SNOBS Bingo Board. Complete notes are on LJ.



I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

- Fiona Apple, Paper Bag

They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.
- Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot





“I used to live quietly,” she says. She tosses an apple she hasn't eaten, up and down, parabolic curve, into her palm and upward. I say nothing – I have said nothing for years. “I'm so hungry,” she says, tossing the apple before her face, without craving, without desire, listless ad infinitum.

By night we copulate: her lingual muscles and intercricoids contracting, her greedy hunger (for me) moving her mouth about me as if forming the words I can't say.

[a͡ɪk]

[a͡ɪk]

[a͡ɪ:k]


– her tongue pulses over and over.


I'm not thinking of her and she's not thinking of me. I am not deluded by her sickly pale hair or her waif's waist; not by her hands, not by her heat; and neither is she deluded of me. We replace nothing. We distract. She is hungry and I think too much; she feeds and I cease to think.

I never ask her for her story but every night she tells me anyway, and every night is different.

“I was seven,” she says, “and I tried to charm a spirit

['spi. ͡ɚɪ.tʃɑ:ɹ.mɚ] – south Crimean accent.


– but I didn't know what I was doing. It entered my stomach rather than my heart, and that's why–”

(Hypothetically speaking –) ['b̥ɹæn.dɪd] – old church dialect, mine.


The magic is strong in her, nearly as strong as mine. When we bond I can feel it. I am no longer jealous of her, she never took my place, I understand that now.

And now I am a beast. A cow. She feeds off my milk.

[mu:]


No, that's not how it goes. The only sounds I make are

[ʔ.ʔ.↓h:.↓h.h.h.h.h]


And the motions of her mouth speak the name for whom I am crying.

“I was eleven,” she says, “and I left my hometown. I couldn't find work. Tried to rob travelers and couldn't, I was eleven. I nearly starved.

(Hypothetically speaking – no, I could not speak then either.)


– Muston and the others found me, and wanted me to work for them. But they needed to ensure that I could be trusted. That's why–”

[fɚm.ðe:.na͡ɪ.hæd̚.tə.fɑ.lo̰͡ʊ̰]


When we bond I can feel her magic. Still I cannot tell her truths from lies.

I wonder sometimes when we will part and where she will go from there. It will happen; nothing is forever. Little even lasts a little.

With men as they are, goddesses as they are, perhaps Ashera and Yune will return in separate form, and war anew.

[oʊ:↘.gɑ.dɛs]


She tosses an apple neither of us have eaten – aside from of each other, we have not eaten of late at all – she tosses it up and down and says, “I'm so hungry.”

I let her speak and do as she pleases. I wouldn't know what to say to her even if I were in the habit, nor do I know what I will.

“I was fifteen,” she says, “and when they ran from the Daein army, I couldn't keep up.

Leaving for awhile.


– The merchants didn't wait for me. I resisted before the enemy took me, and took a dirty wound to the side. That's why–”

Don't know when I'll be back.


Don't worry about me.


One morning I wake and (s)he is gone.

I toss her apple up and down, oscillating, wondering when the world could end.