amielleon: The three heroes of Tellius. (Default)
Ammie ([personal profile] amielleon) wrote2015-08-12 04:19 pm
Entry tags:

Blah blah writing process naval-gazing. Speed, consistency, experience.

I have never been able to keep to a fic update schedule in my life until now.

It's exciting! But I'm also acutely aware of the fact that it's working this time because I have the experience to make it work.

Trying to keep to a regular update schedule means never getting stuck in a rut, knowing how to fix problems with a quick turn-around, and making the right decision the first time--and doing all of these things consistently, on top of that.



There are a lot of witticisms about how you pay a professional artist big money for 10 minutes of their time because it took them years to learn how to do the thing in 10 minutes. Similarly, professional musicians pick up pieces for an orchestral performance with only one or two rehearsals and play them flawlessly.

I think in some ways, writing can be the same way. There is definitely such a thing as beginner's luck and inspiration, and for a long time you stumble around knowing that sometimes stories come easily and sometimes you write better than other times but you don't quite know how it happened or how to make it happen again.

I still haven't figured out why I can't seem to keep some projects moving--I suspect that the problem at heart has something to do with lack of interest--but I can consciously feel all the ways I've managed to keep this one working. I'm constantly thinking about what happens next in the story, both in terms of long-range plans ("I think the story should end like X, and in order for that to happen I should start working toward Y. In the meantime I think Z would be a fantastic subplot...") and--equally importantly--short-range plans ("I don't want this subplot to extend past this chapter because it will delay the overarching purpose of the story, so it's probably cleanest if I resolve this in a scene like this, followed by a scene like that...").

I think I knew as early as three years ago that I had to have a certain amount figured out about a story in my head before I sat down to write it, but having that long-range structure was only half the battle. I don't know when I realized that in between writing sessions, I had to actively think ahead about the compositional details of the next one or two scenes, but it's really helped.

If I had to guess, I think I first started to get an inkling of this with Terrycloth Mother--I seem to recall thinking very deeply at the time about composition in film and the way physical actions and settings align with the feeling scenes impart. But I don't think I've made myself deliberately think about this every time before I sat down to write until this project.

I think, also, that all of my bullheaded and sometimes misguided attempts to explicitly pin down what did or didn't work about a piece of fiction have finally paid off in that I can look at a smaller portion of my story as it's in progress, say "this is not working as well as it could because of reasons X Y Z", and immediately attack the problem without running down the wrong path for 10k words, throwing out the draft, and going off to do something else.

Yeah, it would probably result in a more perfect work to rewrite the whole entire thing with the benefit of hindsight, but with the added bonus of 45 hour workweeks I've come to realize that nothing I am working on at this stage in my life is worth the investment in pursuit of perfection. I'm 24 and stupid and writing about anime boys kissing (or not kissing, as the case may be). There are valuable things I learned about revision during my perfectionist attitude toward my larger projects of the last few years that now enable me to make quick and meaningful at this breakneck pace. But I came to realize, when plotting out Prince Soren AU, that there are a lot of things that go into longform works that I simply don't have enough experience with because I get so ruined by my own perfectionism that I've never successfully committed myself to anything longer than about 15k words.

(Incidentally, I'm discovering lately that my natural honeymoon period with new fics caps out at about 6k words. No wonder I was so productive during my stint with the 4k-word-limit format of fe_contest.)

I remember that the last time I tried to obligate myself to continuously work on a story, it was 2009 and the result was extremely dry and dragged where I was dragging myself. I'm delighted that this is no longer how it has to be, that I can now drag myself through a story in a proactive manner so that it doesn't feel nor look like dragging.

I was hesitant about announcing to the world that I was going to update this fic every week, but it looks like this is a promise I can keep now. I'm so happy.
queenlua: (lovebirds)

[personal profile] queenlua 2015-08-12 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
i'm so happy for you :D

i think it's interesting that you find it's perfectionism that's prevented you from finishing longer works. i have a similar "soft cap" (more like 25k, i can do longer hauls with my origfic), but i doubt perfectionism is the issue in my case (because i am too lazy for perfectionism :P). my (origfic) ideas that feel novel-length peter out; meanwhile my (origfic) ideas that feel short-story length end up sprawling into novellas. maybe someday i will have an idea i love that feels novella-length and it will sprawl into a novel! :P alternatively i know i have a lot of issues and i gotta keep workin' on 'em, haha. (fanfic i actually have a reasonable chance of estimating the length of; i think mostly because already having the characters and universe established makes stuff shorter.)
hilow: (Default)

[personal profile] hilow 2015-08-16 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
I'm days late to this post but I wanted to comment anyway. Like Lua, my comment is about your perfectionism being a hindrance, but unlike Lua I'm not at all surprised because this is something I struggle with a lot. Since I've been in the SnK fandom, I've been asked several times to write longfics, and the longest I've written was, I think, 19,999 words long. Very carefully planned to be no longer than three chapters.

I think my perfectionism only goes so far as this: I have to know exactly where everything is going and when.

When I do figure that out--if I can consider the same idea that long--then I have already told the story in my own head and I can't see the point in actually writing it.

I'm glad you figured out how to push through that stuff, though. You're hardcore and making me look super lazy! :P /wipes away a tear though because they grow up so fast!!

[personal profile] kyusil 2015-08-18 06:06 am (UTC)(link)
This is awesome! Kind of jealous regarding your ability to let go of your perfectionism. It's sort of the curse of any artist who's serious about improving, but it makes ongoing projects a real pain. Or in my case, even short projects! ><

Do you think you'll get to a point where you can impart any of what you've learned?

[personal profile] kyusil 2015-08-19 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I was thinking more a tutorial series of sorts, ahahah. But in particular I'm very curious about what sorts of inhibitions you've come across in your experience as a writer and what steps you take now to overcome them.